Though the scoundrel is adored by many female fans. In reality, Han Solo Makes a Bad Boyfriend.
I am currently studying Marriage and Family Studies at Brigham Young University- Idaho. We just had a unit on warning signs and red flags to watch for during courtship. I am also doing a YouTube series with Mormons at the Megaplex reviewing the Star Wars films. After watching Empire Strikes Back and doing my homework I realized that Han Solo Makes a Bad Boyfriend. Let me tell you my top 5 reasons why.
1. Han Solo Has a Conflict Avoidance Issue
In Empire Stikes Back Han Solo and Princess Leia get into an argument in the south passage. Later on, when Leia tries to communicate with him, she can’t reach him because he had turned off his communicator. This is the equivalent of storming off after a fight and then sending your significant other to voicemail when they try to call you.
Healthy couples talk things out. They don’t play passive aggressive games like breaking off contact. There was an urgent matter that needed attending to. Because of Han’s conflict avoidance, Luke spent more time than needed out in the snow and put him in significant danger. This is why Han Solo Makes a Bad Boyfriend.
2. Han Solo is Poor at Managing Finances
According to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints pamphlet, One for the Money, 89 percent of all divorces can be traced to quarrels and accusations over money. After the Battle of Yavin, Han had all the money he needed to pay off his creditor, Jabba the Hutt. Sure, he came back momentarily to save Luke and allow him to destroy the Death Star, but was he doing the rest of the years between Episodes IV and V?
When looking for a companion, you need someone who is responsible with finances. If they go into debt for buying a modest home or paying for education or other vital needs; (Like needing to drop your shipment at the first sign of an Imperial cruiser) that debt should be paid quickly and in accordance with the agreed upon terms. This is why Han Solo Makes a Bad Boyfriend.
3. Han Solo Doesn’t Counsel With Others on Important Decisions
Han Solo is constantly ignoring the input of others when making decisions. He insists on chasing down the TIE Fighter that gets him caught in the Death Star tractor beam, ignores C3PO when he tries to warn him of the damaged hyperdrive motivator, and he belittles Leia when she cautions him about sneaking up on the scout trooper.
A good presider counsels with his wife in decisions. He realized that her input is just as valid as his. Thomas S. Monson stated, “Your wife is your equal. In marriage neither partner is superior nor inferior to the other. You walk side by side as a son and a daughter of God. She is not to be demeaned or insulted but should be respected and loved.” Ignoring the counsel of others is why Han Solo Makes a Bad Boyfriend.
4. Han Solo is Short Tempered and Often Responds to Conflict with Violence
While we might be all in agreement that Han shot first in that cantina scene of A New Hope, could there have been another way? A boyfriend that results to violence or harsh language when losing his temper is unstable in his emotional balance.
Licensed Therapist Jonothan Decker observed that, “ll anger is actually a vulnerable emotion in disguise. If someone insults you, under your anger is hurt. If your teen walks in three hours past curfew, under your anger is fear and worry. If someone publicly chastens you, under your anger is embarrassment.” Han Solo is unable to pause and find the root of his frustration so he can solve it. This is why Han Solo Makes a Bad Boyfriend.
5. Han Solo Doesn’t Think About the Consequences of His Actions
It can be exciting to live in the moment and only focus on the Now. The problem is, later you will have to deal with the consequences. When it comes to firing a laser in a garbage compactor in the detention level, that blazing hot ricochet can come pretty fast! When it comes to someone you want to build a life with, they need to be able to have the foresight to see how their actions could possibly affect the family. Risk taking can be a good thing, as long as the risk is measured and the possible loss sustainable. But running headlong into a battalion of storm troopers is why Han Solo Makes a Bad Boyfriend.
Are you dating or married to a Han Solo?
It isn’t too late for you! There are resources to help you navigate how to best achieve a healthy relationship and be happy. I would recommend reaching out to Jonathan Decker and his team at the Online Center for Couples & Families. They can help you. He might even become the faithful husband in the gospel that bears his testimony on Fast Sundays and says, “Its true, all of it.”